remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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