I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
