Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize