So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
