I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
