oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
