My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
