I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
