We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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