This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
