He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
