i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
