How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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