And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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