Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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