It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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