i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
