we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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