Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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