Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
