was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
4 words: hood of his car
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
