This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
