...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
