DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize