She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
