If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
false alarm, still single
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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