I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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