You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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