Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize