another moral hangover. fuck.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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