I hope mine doesn't look like that
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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