I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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