he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
