bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
