Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Farmville is her only friend.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
