I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
