You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
