oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
