This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize