she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize