the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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