dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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