Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize