on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
