Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i barfeds in our rink
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
