i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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