In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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