The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize