Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
