yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As shirtless as possible
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
