So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
