Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This is the high leading the old right now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
