he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
