I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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