I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
