I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
