Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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