Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
