her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize