dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
