ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
